Jokes Page

[Otoko]

DISCLAIMER
------------

Do not read any further if you are easily offended, have heart or liver problems, a poor sense of humour, are allergic to jokes and humour of any form or if you will die if you laugh.

------------

Basically, tell some jokes. I make no apologies for my jokes, and I will warn you now some of them may offend you. Thats what the disclaimer is for ^_^

I'll try to give some form of warning before telling a dirty joke, I wouldn't want to corrupt your innocent little minds.

As an example:
A woman is like a gun. The longer you have one around, the more you want to shoot it.

-

I have a younger sister, and we're very close. In fact, we're so close we occasionally feel pain at the same time. As a young child I used to sneak up on her and quickly punch her in the jaw.
At the same time my own jaw would hurt.

.. from laughing.. : D

-

*quote from Frankie Boyle*
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Well, whatever it is its heading straight for the World Trade Centre..

-

A man walks into a bar with a brain on a fishing rod. Barkeeper says "Where did you get that?", the man replies "Well.. Cast you're mind back!"

He carries on, "I caught this in a swamp. Yea, the mind boggles.."

-

Procrastinators Unite.. Tomorrow..

-

Why is it called the X-box 360?

Because when you see it you'll turn 360 and walk away.
-

*distasteful jokes ahead*
If you force sex upon a prostitute, is it rape.... or shoplifting?

-

Bukkake - Its all fun and games, until someone looses an eye.

-

Also, the greatest chat-up line of all time:
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"





I'm holding back on the really bad ones. Just testing the water. >.<

[Leafa]

A certain country in Northwest Europe, MAKE IT STOP! The one about "the mind boggles" was just bad. Very bad.
This coming from the person who wrote this: http://ilovemyrobot.comicgenesis.com/d/20090819.html
No ones ever told me they've actually got that "joke". Try saying it out loud, go on.

Anyway, this is the funniest joke I think I know. I don't know too many...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."


...
...

[crazzycat]

great Homes joke i've heard it before but its still funny
---------

My [url=http://www.3ddigitalwallpapers.com]wallpapers[/url] are cooler, doubts?